Life's surprises

Life. It has a way of taking you by surpirse. Both in good and bad ways. Something happens to us that in our wildest dreams or nightmares would ever happen to us. When my husband and I had lost Ashlynn so suddenenly and without warning, we had never given a possibility of that happening. A friend of mine, her husband passed away unexpectedly. For no reason. It gives us a reality check, one that we feel we didn't need or want.



My friend and I are in different situations but almost same in our grief. Her husband passed away in the early morning. Right under her nose. She is just coming back home from the funeral. My heart aches for her. I understand what it feels to lose someone close in your heart. Granted, this is not the same type of loss, but a loss all the same. The same proccess of grief, your heart shatters the same. You keep hoping that maybe it's not real, that you will wake up and there they will be in your arms. But sadly you will never wake from this nightmare. Or maybe you hope that what they say is true. That time heals all wounds. Your impatient. You want that time to come now. If only you would stop hurting, crying, and being afraid. Losses are indeed individual. She lost her husband of only 2 years. I lost my baby of only knowing my angel for 6 months. First time seeing her was only in her death. Does that mean that her loss is worse than mine? Or the other way around? I don't think so. We all feel the same way, maybe just on a different level. Thoughts are different. Some are the same. We all ask questions.



What should I have done differently? Then comes the what "Ifs". What if I would have noticed something? What if I would have woken up sooner? Or If I had asked more questions, and demanded more answers? What if I watched more closely? These are the questions we ask ourselfs. If we let it, they will take over and we will get lost in them. But that is grief, something you can get lost in. Time does not heal your wounds, but just fills in the cracks with acceptance. Time.....it gives no deadline...it's not specific. That is what is so frusterating. It could be months, years before the cracks are filled in.

Back to my friend. I want to help her. Find some words of comfort, but as in my earlier blogs. There really isn't any. The most you can do is lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Events change others as well. My daughter didn't touch many people, not in a way she did my husband and I. But my friends husband did. He touched many people. Neighbors are moving because of this. Friends are leaving...it changes everything.

Life is funny that way, but a dry humor it is.